GROWTH:

You don’t really want to be special

You just want the perks

Let’s cut right to the chase. You have said it, or someone in your company has. You want to show your true colours. Stand out from the crowd. Reveal your heritage. Unleash your true potential. Be unique. Be special.

But it turns out, you can’t. Here’s why.

You don’t know how

You are a business owner, a marketing intern or somewhere in between. You finished high school, maybe got some business degree, and started working. I might have missed some details, but that’s likely to be the big picture.

You feel as if you’re a unique individual, but this is a construct of your mind. You think you’re different because you spend so much time being you, and so little time being someone else.

If you look at a pebble long enough, it will start looking special to you. You will notice details you missed at first. Bumps. Cracks. Textures and slight changes in hue. That’s one unique pebble to you. But could you ever find it on a shingle beach?

Back to you. You dress business casual. You’re on Facebook but also LinkedIn. You watch TV and Netflix (but not too much), have a political opinion and either like craft beer, wine or both.

The exact combination of what you wear, your Facebook profile, your musical interests and that hobby of yours are definitely unique. But from a distance, all the things you do are normal. Even if one thing is weird — everybody has a few quirks. So regardless of the combination, you don’t stand out.

You are a pebble on a shingle beach.

This is the exact opposite of special. This is the mode — the most common entity. Everyone does what you do. And everyone says they want to be special. And everyone believes they can be. But none of them know how.

Because being special is not something you can sign up for. There’s no application form. There are no boxes you tick to become special. No Wikihow, no checklist, nothing. Special is another dimension, and the boundary is uncrossable by those looking for the entrance.

You either are, or are not.

And if you’re looking to be special, you are definitely not.

You don’t know why

A decade ago you read Seth Godin’s Purple Cow, and some of Malcom Gladwell’s work as well. Your childhood idols were all very special individuals. Peers talk about standing out and being different. Family members brag about that one bold thing they did back in college.

So you figure it must be good to be special. Being special has become a goal for you and everyone else.

But why be special? Because special people get attention, right? They are talked about. They are idolised. They are adored, revered if you will. You want that too, for yourself or your company or your product.

So you don’t really want to be special, you want the perks of being special. The attention, the fame, the feeling that you matter.

You don’t have the balls

Being special is tough shit. It means the world is not ready for you. You face rejection, not being accepted, having to explain — or worse, prove yourself, time after time.

People aren’t understanding. They like things that they know. They dislike things that are new and different. When you’re special, you’re new and different ergo not to be liked much.

And you know it. You aren’t so welcoming to special people either. You have ridiculed the different, the divergent — everyone has. So you’re scared. And whenever there’s a chance to stand out, you pull back. You opt for the safe route. You tell yourself that you’re being responsible, not accepting that you’re just lacking the balls to really stand out.

Better safe than sorry — everyone, all the time

You don’t listen

So when people — designers for instance — show you ways to stand out, you don’t listen. You come up with excuses. “My boss won’t accept this”, “Our target audience won’t be able to identify with that”, “I love it but I’ll never get everyone else on board”.

And in the end you’ll justify your scared choices to yourself and your colleagues. You might even try to sell it to them as if you did make a bold move. “Our logo is now pink. All the competitors have blue logos. No-one has ever done this before in our market.”

So next time, don’t say you want to be special, different or unique. Because all the people who say they do — by definition can’t.

Thanks for reading The Marketing & Growth Hacking Publication

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You don’t really want to be special was originally published in Marketing And Growth Hacking on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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