Biz Tips: Why I hate Digital Marketing?

Biz Tips: Why I hate Digital Marketing?


Why I hate Digital Marketing?

Digital marketing

There should be no reason to hate something that is getting you your share of dough but I still manage to have that weird audacity to scream into my profession’s devilish face and express my dislike for it.

Don’t get me wrong here. I love marketing. But I hate digital marketing. Why?
Just because of some reasons that I love to present (disclaimer: forgive for the overuse of words ‘love’ and ‘hate’, but aren’t the two, two sides of the coin?)

I got no budget; no, wait I got some leftover for digital: For all those who manage clients know what I am saying. We are the trash vendors, who fall after those monstrous ad giants who make TVCs (even if they seem to be riddle in their own right), or put up gigantic hoardings on the road which are responsible for 13% of all accidents, or print ads that no one remembers. Companies don’t like us because we create 100% harmless, easy-to-decipher, memorable ad campaigns. And you know, I believe that. Did anyone say, I am joking?

Follow-up, follow-up, follow-up; I won’t move my lame ass: “Sir, we don’t intend to even bother you but there are some campaign ideas that you had wanted urgently three months back. Remember, sir, you said that I need to present them tomorrow morning. No, I am not complaining sir that you asked me to do that at 9 PM. I am just requesting you announce the verdict. What happened to them? I know sir, you travel 8 out of 7 days, and are on vacation throughout the summer, and rest of the time goes into conferences (and I turn blind eye to who say that they have all ended inconclusive). Sir, please sir, tell me what happened with campaign ideas, sir. Did you read them, sir?
I will re-re-re-send them sir…..”

We believe in the medium, but we are experimenting: Alright sir, let’s experiment, but let’s experiment with my suggestions sir, not yours. And if it all yours sir, then why do you want me to make endless pitches, sir? Okay, you ok, I am ok, with your ideas. You ok with my idea, I ok with your idea, ie my idea sir. Whatever you are okay, I am okay. I have lost my mind, sir but yes we will experiment, but me no scientist sir — me an innocuous marketer!

That’s a great idea, do it, you’ll charge? but wasn’t that a part of the retainer??? Why not sir, I’ve got my bum tattooed that all is yours. Your well-negotiated retainer fee is good enough to sponsor the fuel that I spend to attend your urgent, immediate meetings (the urgency is well-supported by the two hour wait in the reception area where I have made good friends with the office guard). All my development costs, creative costs, and management costs are that you can afford to ignore and I still can make money on it. No, sir, you are wrong — please revise the scope of work. Okay, I know you never bother to read it. Never mind, here it is for you again.

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Why I hate Digital Marketing? was originally published in Marketing And Growth Hacking on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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